Don't know what you got till it's gone

Oh I know what I had, and it was beautiful. Shirley's brief absence at the Ranch was wonderful.

But it all changed when I walked in this evening. She wasn't here, but the heat was blasting. Set to turn off at 80 degrees. Eighty mother-flippin degrees! Really?! Really Shirley? We live in Southern California, not Iowa. Put on a goddamn sweater. I know you have one with Captain Hook, idiot. Just for a couple months, I would like it if our utility bills weren't out of control, numb nuts. I rather be using that money for a deposit on a new place.

God help you if you do laundry late tonight.

Sleep with one eye open.

Holly-jolly Christmas

So I was hoping Shirley wouldn't give me anything for Christmas, but just in case I picked up a Target gift card. Low and behold, Santa Tink came early! She gave me a cute (!!!) toiletry bag, (how did that happen?) and these majestic button earrings. Mind you I never wear earrings, and if I did, these certainly would not be it.



Sooo, I decided that my gift card was a little too impersonal and headed off to my local Disney store. My roommate's mecca if you will. I figured I could get an ornament to add to the madness on the tree. Sadly there wasn't too much to choose from. So I weighed my options and got a Pooh ornament, deciding against the High School Musical one. Thinking the three dollar ornament wasn't enough, I spotted a glorious Tinkerbell mug and snatched that beauty up.



So for under ten dollars, I was able to get a super present.

I kept the gift card, in case you were wondering. Oh and if anyone wants those earrings, they are yours.

Vvvrrrrrroooooooooooooom F!

This is a Nascar-themed ornament. I knew they existed, but I didn't know people bought them. There is a car, a helmet and some marvelous balls.

I hope this isn't my gift

Why is this on the tree?? Unless you have a green thumb, this is a crappy gift.

The most amazing ornament of them all

Is courtesy of my mom. It may not be Disney, but it is still spectacular in all its glittery glory.

Magical Ornaments

Well the tree is finally finished and surprisingly, it's Disney-themed.





Please note that the dog below is not Shirley's dog. It's the dog that comes with the frame. I guess since it took her a month to decorate, it would be too much to ask for her to find a picture of her dog.

Hodge-podge of Christmas crapola

So does Santa come to the Ranch? I mean I guess the idea is kind of cute in theory, but it strikes me as a wee bit creepy. Or maybe she has some kids I don't know about. I am thinking about putting some cookies in the plate.



Even Olivia gets into the Christmas spirit around here!

Lastly, there is this amazing garland on the corkboard.



Yes, that is a Tinkerbell charm on her keys. Yes that is Hannah Montana. And yes that is JC from NSYNC up there.

Noooooooooooo

Shirley didn't come home last night. History has shown us that she doesn't spend the night at her parent's, but Douchebag's. I can only hope that she got sloshed at a bar and went home with some random dude. But sadly I don't think that is the case.

Maybe they broke up for good and she still spent the night? It seems like something she would do as a last ditch effort to win him back.

Merry Christmas, Tink

That right there is pure magic. "Faith, trust and pixie dust." I don't even know what to say.



Yes, that is pixie dust. She is obsessed. And decorating the tree is like a week long ordeal. She only seems to hang a couple ornaments a day. Guess she doesn't want to accomplish too much in a day.

So, a mustang crashes into a bucket...

So a few night ago, I was in my room, watching The Golden Girls. Don't be jealous. Sophia and the gang are awesome. Anyways, Shirley is reving the engine of her awesome car and I hear a big crash. I have no idea what it is but it couldn't be serious since Shirley took off, (to Never Neverland probably.) So I go to check out the situation and find that Valentine's Day and Easter threw up over the garage on my car.

So I was left to ponder many things. Did she put her car in drive? How did she not hear that she crashed into a giant tub of crap? (Oh wait, she watches the TV super loud and with closed captioning. Okay that answers that.) Why didn't she pick it up? Who uses blue easter grass?

She is spectacular.

This seems rational

I don't know about you, but when I break up with a boyfriend (even if it's temporary, errr lame) that is when I decide to deck out my room in photos of us in happier times.



This above work of art has been on the floor of her room since I moved in. No better time than on a break to hang it up!

I think my days of being Douchebag-free are numbered.

P.S. How awesome is the blue wall??

Update: Shirley spent the night at DB's the other night. But they are friends. Riiiiiiight.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Dream on

Some of you may remember that Shirley seems to have an infatuation with the word "dream." And Christmastime is no exception! I give you the following. By the way, these are the only two ornaments on the tree at the moment.



More Christmas fun to follow!

Shirley is SAD

Shirley and DB are still on a break, which has been AWESOME. Things are a lot more tolerable around the Ranch when you don't have a Douchebag and Douchedog to deal with.

That being said, Shirley has been miserable. And she has taken to her MySpace to express her sadness.



I don't think DB misses her. Although I am sure he misses his free dog care. Booyah!

P.S. Please notice her "16" username. I think that explains a lot.

Happy Thanksgiving!

So is this a joke? She can't possibly think I am a great roommate right? I mean I know I am considerate and all, but with all the times I have had to talk to her about stuff, she can't really think I am great, right?

HA.