(Happy) Anniversary?

As you may remember, Shirley and Douchebag are "on a break." Of course, being on a break means you still celebrate your anniversary. Where do you take your love for three years of breaking up and infidelity? La Salsa! Duh.

Hahahahahahahahaha. Yeah I am bitch. But I'm awesome.

He'll be back

Douchebag and Shirley are on a "break." This is just one of many, but the first that I have been privy to. Hopefully it lasts forever, or at least for a couple of months. He kind of lucked out cause now he doesn't have to get her an anniversary gift, go to Thanksgiving festivities and he just might miss Christmas!

So...

Anyone need a saw? Sure it's a little rusty, but I am sure it gets the job done.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Hi. So this picture was taken this weekend. In case you didn't know, Thanksgiving hasn't even happened yet.

And these boxes are a taste of what is to come. It should be a festive holiday here at the Ranch!!

Shirley is on my laundry (shit) list

"If you could refrain from doing laundry @ 1am that would be great. My room shares a wall with the washer and dryer so it's loud and annoying. Thanks!"

{Sorry for the poor quality. Doris was in the next room and I could not use the flash}

Doris said she responded by saying, "Well, I guess I can't do laundry." Yes Shirley, I want you to never have clean clothes again! And that she does laundry late before. Well I snapped and couldn't take it anymore. Duh. She is just selfish and clueless.

I love fishies cause they're so delicious

Doris is here for the weekend, and she walked into the bathroom she once shared with Shirley and exclaimed, "What. The. Fuck." What could evoke this kind of reaction from Doris you ask? Goldfish. You think, "Surely (or Shirley, ha!) you jest." Oh I do not.



Need a closer look? Yeah I thought so.



Those look suspiciously like fish won at a carnival. Wouldn't you stop at one? Two? Not Shirley. She is special. She must have thought, "NO! I must have SEVEN!"

Or perhaps she plans on cooking those suckers up for Douchebag. You never know with her.

***Update***
All the fish but one have died. R.I.P.

My head is going to explode

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am pissed.

I went home at lunch and found the following:

-the heater set to go on. BTW it's 80 degrees at the moment. It has not been THAT cold at night. We live in SoCal!
-key under the brick
-Douchedog in the back

Soooo I need a new job stat (one where layoffs don't happen every other week + salary cuts) so I can move into a new place.

Oy vey!!

God Bless America

Shirley, who is 27 going on 12, has her parents fill out her ballot and mail it in for her. Nice. You can't even decide who you want for president??

She is pathetic.

Pure awesome

I love it when Shirley goes away for a few days. It doesn't happen very often, so I am loving this dog/douchebag-free environment. Woooooo!!!