Look at what we have here...

I stumbled upon something today. Now look at that little brick. It's away from it's little brick friends. It probably wants to go back to them. I think I will pick it up and move it back.



What's this?? A key? To what? Oh the ranch! DB used this to lock up this morning. (For once.) Now I do not know if it's always there or if Shirley left it this one time. (Probably not, she doesn't have a good track record.) Annnnyways I was going to take it (hehe) but decided I would wait in case it was her key. She has it coming, but I don't want to lock her out that kind of sucks. But it really irks me that he might have access to the house whenever he wants. And I know it's not kept there in case one of us gets locked out cause she has never told me about it.

So I guess this is how DB gets Douchedog when no is around? Fabulous.

Update: It was her house key so I decided not to take it. Doesn't mean I won't in the future. Why does he need a key? He doesn't live there! Well technically he doesn't...

It never ends

DB came over last night (or this morning) around 3am or something ridicilous. (Classy). Shirley has left for work and DB is still here. Yipee!

Hodge-podge of crap

-I talked to Shirley about the A/C issue. She flat out denied using it. I know and she knows that she is a liar. When I told her I have come home on several occasions to find the air on (and no one home) she said, "I haven't turned the air on." How can I argue with that. It's like arguing with a monkey. So when the bill comes, and if it's more than it should be, I will refuse to pay half. 

-DB dropped a deuce in MY bathroom. Probably cause it's cleaner than Shirley's.

-Shirley broke my egg slicer. To which she also denies. It was working last time I used it. You dumb B. I guess the dogs got a hankering for egg salad sandwiches.

-Shirley wears so much blush she borders on being a clown.

So what have we learned? Shirley is a liar who moonlights as a circus performer. 

An oldie but a goodie

Ha. This just doesn't get old. Peanut butter. As decoration! And that hat! Wow.

Now taking bets...

I hope to talk to Shitley tonight about her sudden increase in consumption of the air conditioning. Considering that it's getting cooler and that she hates paying utilities, methinks she is doing it to get back at me. So I will just be a giant bitch I guess and call her on her tom foolery.

Do you think there will be tears tonight?

A mellow week

Last weekend I went to Arizona and while there, I met up with Doris. Afterwards Doris called Shirley and told her that she hung out with me. To which Shirley said "you ran into each other?" (Yeah dummy) "You have each other's numbers? I didn't know you guys talked. What was she doing there?" Me thinks that Shirley was maybe jealous? Mad that I talk to our ex-roommate more than her? Who knows. She is mental.

Nothing new to report. Things haven't changed much since I made Shirley cry. The damn dog is here, and even though it is getting cooler, the A/C is running more than ever it seems. Not quite sure what to do since being direct doesn't work with her nor does being passive aggressive. Any thoughts??

Just cause

{from CuteOverload}

So much for that

I kind of thought my posts would slow down since I had the chat with Shirley, but it turns out that it didn't really have any impact on her. The Douches (bag and dog) were around all weekend as was the air in an unoccupied ranch. I think there is something mentally wrong with her.

Or she is just a clueless douchebag lovin' nutjob idiot.

That was unexpected!

Wow. Shirley cried. I told her I wasn't cool with the air being on when no one was around and also asked why Douchedog was here all the time. WELL, that opened a can of worms. Suddenly the conversation turned to Douchebag being here all the time to Shirley crying. Dang! I swear I wasn't mean. Stern yes, but not a bitch. She said he wasn't going to be around. I stressed I didn't care if he was over, but just not ALL THE TIME. And if he wants to be over all the time, then he should pay for some utilities. He said he felt he couldn't be here and didn't feel welcomed. HAHAHAHA WTF? You want me to be his friend? I don't think so. She was uber defensive. Awesome!



Turns out DB wanted to take Douchedog to a shelter cause he just can't really take care of him. Hmm idiot maybe you should have never gotten the dog to begin with? I feel for the dog, I really do, but he isn't my problem. When you open your home to someone, you got to be respectful. Duh.

So hopefully that problem will be fixed. If not, then I need to hightail it out of this place!

Yeehaw!

Let's get ready to rumble!

I had to go home briefly on my lunch break, and when I did, I discovered that the air conditioning was on along with the porch light. Douchedog was also at the Ranch. I assumed Shirley was at work but before I jumped to conclusions I texted her to make sure that was the case and I have yet to hear from her. So yes, I think she left the air running while at work. Which is so wasteful and pointless. That unit sucks, is expensive and is definitely not energy efficient. So basically I am paying for her (and Douchebag) to keep cool cause it does jack-shit in my room. So now I am pumping myself up to give her a talkin' too.

I am not going to put up with her assholery anymore dammit.

Dear Shitley errrr Shirley....

While I realize it might be a little lame to have left a note, I really do not enjoy talking to her. (And I am kind of a weenie). But this note doesn't seem to have helped much...she still is hiding the remote. HAHAHAHA. Awesome!

Don't even get me started on the fans in her room that she has left on for months. I hope they overheat and blow up.

P.S. Can Douchebag please not walk around in his underwear? Thanks a million!