Shirley STILL sucks at laundry

As you may or may not remember, Shirley is pretty idiotic when it comes to doing laundry. And maybe you think I am being Nazi, but there is only so much Douchedog sitting, early morning laundry sessions and door slamming this ranch wrangler can handle.

The following is just dumb. I am by no means "green," BUT, you have to have more things to wash than FOUR dish towels. I mean come on! Look how empty that thing is! Throw in some bath towels, your Peter Pan nightie that you (probably) wear. Anything! Get with the program Shirley!

Shirley sucks at laundry, continued

Did Shirley have some sort of laundry emergency this morning at 3am? Did she have to have some dish towels or socks washed right away??? Does she not remember I share a wall with the washer and dryer? Has she always been a selfish, oblivious whack-job? I really want to know the answers to these questions!

Shirley sucks at laundry

It is really so trivial, really. But I just don't understand it.

Shirley will often start a load of laundry before leaving for work or just running errands. But then that leaves me or Doris to deal with it if we need to do ours. Just common courtesy really. Which Shirley has none. Last night Shirley did a load of laundry with a single pair of jeans. This morning was the kicker. Before she left for work, I guess it was really important that she had TWO dish towels clean. Honestly. How dumb is that? It's so wasteful. And so wetarded.

An open letter

Dear Shirley,

I know on your days off, you keep a busy schedule. Between doing your boyfriend's laundry, following Christian pop-punk bands around and hanging out with 21 year olds, it is hard to find time to do your own laundry. But, can you please not wait until 1am to start it? I think maybe you forgot that the washer and dryer share a wall with my bedroom.

Thanks,
Ranch Wrangler