An open letter

Dear Shirley,

I know on your days off, you keep a busy schedule. Between doing your boyfriend's laundry, following Christian pop-punk bands around and hanging out with 21 year olds, it is hard to find time to do your own laundry. But, can you please not wait until 1am to start it? I think maybe you forgot that the washer and dryer share a wall with my bedroom.

Thanks,
Ranch Wrangler