I am a broken record

Douchebag was in the house again yesterday morning while Shitley was at work. This is not ok but it continues to happen. Which leads me to my next questions. Would it be out of line to take the house key that Shirley and DB leave under a brick?

poll by twiigs.com

Look at what we have here...

I stumbled upon something today. Now look at that little brick. It's away from it's little brick friends. It probably wants to go back to them. I think I will pick it up and move it back.



What's this?? A key? To what? Oh the ranch! DB used this to lock up this morning. (For once.) Now I do not know if it's always there or if Shirley left it this one time. (Probably not, she doesn't have a good track record.) Annnnyways I was going to take it (hehe) but decided I would wait in case it was her key. She has it coming, but I don't want to lock her out that kind of sucks. But it really irks me that he might have access to the house whenever he wants. And I know it's not kept there in case one of us gets locked out cause she has never told me about it.

So I guess this is how DB gets Douchedog when no is around? Fabulous.

Update: It was her house key so I decided not to take it. Doesn't mean I won't in the future. Why does he need a key? He doesn't live there! Well technically he doesn't...

It never ends

DB came over last night (or this morning) around 3am or something ridicilous. (Classy). Shirley has left for work and DB is still here. Yipee!

Hodge-podge of crap

-I talked to Shirley about the A/C issue. She flat out denied using it. I know and she knows that she is a liar. When I told her I have come home on several occasions to find the air on (and no one home) she said, "I haven't turned the air on." How can I argue with that. It's like arguing with a monkey. So when the bill comes, and if it's more than it should be, I will refuse to pay half. 

-DB dropped a deuce in MY bathroom. Probably cause it's cleaner than Shirley's.

-Shirley broke my egg slicer. To which she also denies. It was working last time I used it. You dumb B. I guess the dogs got a hankering for egg salad sandwiches.

-Shirley wears so much blush she borders on being a clown.

So what have we learned? Shirley is a liar who moonlights as a circus performer. 

An oldie but a goodie

Ha. This just doesn't get old. Peanut butter. As decoration! And that hat! Wow.

Now taking bets...

I hope to talk to Shitley tonight about her sudden increase in consumption of the air conditioning. Considering that it's getting cooler and that she hates paying utilities, methinks she is doing it to get back at me. So I will just be a giant bitch I guess and call her on her tom foolery.

Do you think there will be tears tonight?

A mellow week

Last weekend I went to Arizona and while there, I met up with Doris. Afterwards Doris called Shirley and told her that she hung out with me. To which Shirley said "you ran into each other?" (Yeah dummy) "You have each other's numbers? I didn't know you guys talked. What was she doing there?" Me thinks that Shirley was maybe jealous? Mad that I talk to our ex-roommate more than her? Who knows. She is mental.

Nothing new to report. Things haven't changed much since I made Shirley cry. The damn dog is here, and even though it is getting cooler, the A/C is running more than ever it seems. Not quite sure what to do since being direct doesn't work with her nor does being passive aggressive. Any thoughts??

Just cause

{from CuteOverload}