Baaahahahahahahahaha

Guess who is trying out to be a fairy (or Mickey Mouse) at Disneyland?? Shirrrrrrrley is. Yesssss.

Bad news

Doris called me to let me know that I am getting a new roommate. When Shirley is going to tell me, I don't know. This new roommate will be sharing Shirley's bedroom. Fabulous. I can't wait to start sharing everything with a third person again. I feel sorry for this girl cause I already hate her.

Also, Shirley (or Douchebag) finished a bottle of vodka of mine in the freezer. Granted it was almost empty and I was probably never going to drink it, but don't drink stuff that isn't yours. When I left Shirley a note about it, she replied, "the red bottle?" Hey dipshit, how many bottles of vodka were there? Only one.

I curse the day you were born Shirley!

Heidi ho neighbor

Home Improvement mug - check

The OC game on display - check

Movie projector - check

Busted camera - check

Just another day at the ranch!

Morning courtesies...

Shirley, at 5:20am please don't...

...Call and whistle for your dog right outside my window

...Slam the doors

...Rev up your engine. (And several times no less since your car didn't start up until the third time).

Thanks,
Your super happy roommate

Hey, idiot!

I know we would both prefer not to have roommates, but I am paying you (well your parents) to live here, so leave me a f'n space in the garage.

What is wrong with these people???

On several occasions I have come home after Shirley's dad has worked on something on the house to find my toilet filled with urine. For some reason, Shirley's dad has an aversion to flushing. Fine if you want to conserve in your own house, but don't do it in your daughter's roommate's bathroom!

I came home to a bowlful of piss tonight. It was lovely. Sorry I did not document it, but I have class.

Experiment #2

See that beautiful boot up there? I got that at the Target dollar bin and thought it would be perfect for the Ranch. I went away for the weekend and came back to find a FABULOUS new entertainment center in the living room. As you can see, it's very modern and sophisticated. AND she loved the boot so much, that she moved it on top of that! I am so excited I could contribute.

I'm not one to judge...

Ok, yes I am. Who am I kidding? But I thought this was interesting. See for yourself.

Keg stand anyone?


OoOOoo trippy fog.


And now, we repent.